When ADHD and Narcissism Overlap in Queer Lives
In LGBTQ+ lives, ADHD often intersects with shame. Traits like forgetfulness, defensiveness, or rejection sensitivity can be mistaken for narcissism.
As I admit in The United States of Disconnection:
“My own strong ADHD and memory issues caused me to accept abuse that others would have recognized as abuse.”
This overlap leaves many LGBTQ+ folks vulnerable—but awareness can bring healing.
ADHD Traits That Look Narcissistic
Defensiveness = arrogance?
Forgetfulness = lack of care?
Rejection sensitivity = volatility?
Hyperfocus on validation = vanity?
But none of these are narcissism—they’re sensitivity responses.
ADHD and LGBTQ+ Vulnerability
ADHD amplifies susceptibility to gaslighting.
Familiar chaos feels like home.
Shame doubles when layered with queer rejection.
Healing ADHD + Queer Experiences
Self-compassion breaks the shame loop.
Therapy supports regulation and repair.
Queer community reduces isolation and stigma.
Gratitude Moment 🌿
Pause and name one ADHD trait that makes you powerful—creativity, humor, empathy. Offer gratitude for your unique brain.
Takeaway
ADHD isn’t narcissism. For LGBTQ+ people, the overlap can be painful, but healing begins with compassion—for our brains, our identities, and our resilience.